


Sloppy, wet confessions

by CarrieWrites, Hamatopurity



Category: Sam & Max (Comics), Sam & Max (Video Games), Sam and max, The Adventures of Sam & Max: Freelance Police (Cartoon)
Genre: Drunken Confessions, Drunken Kissing, M/M, Sam and Max are around 22 here, Sam is a giggly idiot, based on a hc of Carrie’s on how these idiots got together, gay stupid men, max has no emotional filter while drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 14:53:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29455566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarrieWrites/pseuds/CarrieWrites, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hamatopurity/pseuds/Hamatopurity
Summary: Sam and Max have known each other for years, and seems even when completely wasted they can still surprise each other.
Relationships: Max/Sam (Sam & Max)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 91





	Sloppy, wet confessions

The door swings open to an apartment door, a 6-foot Irish Wolfhound and a lagomorph drunkenly entering it.

The dog man hiccups before letting out giggles as he stumbles on his feet.

His rabbity companion wasn’t much better, stumbling on wobbly pawed feet, only one of his long furry ears standing straight up while the other flopped lazily covering his right eye.

“Saaaaaam y-your so funnieeee! Your- _ hic- _ your jokes always make me laaaaaugh!” The lagomorph drunkenly slurred.

“Awwww, thanks lit- _ hic _ -le buddy! Say, did you always have-  _ hic  _ -two heads?” Sam giggles, patting on his head.

“I- _ hic- _ dunno Sam did you-you always have th-three hats?” Max stumbled, leaning into Sam’s hand subconsciously.

The rabbity thing dropped the car keys with his drunken wobbling, even drunk he can’t believe Sam actually let him drive this time.

Sam gives a chortle before-

“Sayyyyy Max! Wanna  _ -hic-  _ get even more drunk and regret it - _ hic-  _ tomorrow?” The Irish Wolfhound slurs, giggling.

Max flopped backwards into the couch with a giggle “You know it Sammyyyy! Cr- _ hic- _ crack open th’ whooooooole pack!”

He laid there upside down on the back of the couch, red faced and giggling as he let himself kick the air in his drunken stupor.

Sam laughs as he stumbles to the kitchen, leaning on the door and the counters to steady himself somewhat before he grabbed more alcohol, stumbling back to the couch with the alcohol in his arms.

“Heeyyyy! Here comes th’ partyyyyy!” Max slurred, waving his arms aimlessly in excitement, smiling so wide he looked like his jaw was gonna unhinge.

Ain’t that cute.

Sam giggles as he falls on the couch next to the lagomorph, popping open a few cans of the alcohol.

“Drink up, li-  _ hic - _ tle buuuddy!!”

Max held a can and looked ready to chug it before throwing the whole can into his mouth, a large  _ crunch  _ being heard as he giggled and hiccuped.

The lagomorph kicked his feet a little to slide himself more on the couch until he looked like a fluffy pretzel “That hit th- _ hic- _ spot hehe…” 

“You-  _ hic  _ -craaack me up, little-  _ hic  _ -buddy!” Sam slurred, chugging his can of beer before opening another one.

The rabbity thing unfurled himself from his tangle of fuzzy limbs as he giggled, flopping himself onto his best friend’s lap, his floppy pawed feet up in the air.

“Hey-hey Sam, Sammmyyyy, have ‘ah ever told you ya really pretty- _ hic- _ eyes?”

Sam’s face flushes red as he giggles, grinning at the lagomorph on his lap.

“No, I dooon’t think soooo…”

Max held Sam’s face sloppily “Well you dooooo! ‘Ah always thought yer eyes weee prettyyyy ‘ike a coupla prisssstine bullets ripe for servin’ justice”

The lagomorph giggled, he loved Sam’s dopey puppy face.

Sam gives a doggish snort, his tail thumping up and down on the couch, grinning at Max, bopping the lagomorph gently with his snout.

The rabbity thing giggled shrilly, squishing Sam’s cheeks together “An’ yer fur is soooooo soft, an-an’ I looooove how squishy you are, yer belly is so niiiiiice”

Max pressed Sam’s nose against his own, making it crinkle up.

Sam’s tail thumped up and down harder, nuzzling the lagomorph’s nose gently, his grin stupidly big.

The lagomorph nuzzled himself into Sam with a slurred giggle “Ya- _ hic- _ ya know, I always thought ya were a real looka’ you-you were toooooootally what turned me gay ya- _ hic- _ ya know!”

Another round of giggles “You’ve been th-the best thing since bullets to meee!”

Sam grins wide now, hardly believing it.

“R-Really, ya - _ hic-  _ mean it?”

Suddenly grabbing Sam’s face with more force than a heavily drunken man should be able to have, Max spoke about as seriously a tone he could muster in his drunken stupor “YESH! YER BEATAHFULL AN’ TH’ MOST IMPORTANT MAN I KNOW!”

Max was practically dragging Sam to his tiny chest as he slurred “I HAD M’ EYES ON YA SINCE TH’ TIME YOU SWORE AT A TEACHER FER ME IN THIRD GRADE!”

Sam grins wide, tail wagging harder than ever before, leaning in to kiss the lagomorph on the mouth-

Only to kiss his forehead.

“...s’rry meant to kiss your mouth…”

Max giggled giddily “Yer so sweeeeet Sammyyyy  _ hic- _ git on down here ya fffffuzzy goof!”

The lagomorph was clearly inebriated, but his words were as true as they could be, he never had an emotional filter after a few drinks.

Sam grins, moving down to kiss the lagomorph again-

And kissing his cheek.

“I swear if I wasn’t - _ hic _ \- so drunk right nnnow, I’d kiss you properly already…”

“Ah believe in y’ Sammyyyyy” Max giggled as his words slurred more, his little legs kicking from his drunken lovesick excitement.

Sam giggles as he moved a bit more, only to kiss his other cheek.

Moving up a bit-

He kissed his nose.

“Almost got it-“

The lagomorph couldn’t help but giggle, letting out a small snort from his small laughing fit.

God he loved this doof.

Finally moving down he kissed Max’s mouth, a bit sloppy as he was drunk.

Max clung to Sam like a koala as he practically dragged the Irish Wolfhound into his mouth to deepen the kiss, drunk off his ass or no, he’s been waiting for this for over 10 years.

The kiss was sloppy and wet but…

It was perfect.


End file.
